"You are too useless. And now, I must beat you!"

Day 1

Well, I've fully recovered from the gorging that took place last week, while my sister was in town. I'm going to start something new with this blog. Everyday my co-cavemen and I go out to eat and we always have a tough time deciding where to eat. We stand in the lobby, asking each other, "where do you want to eat?" Someone invariably yells, "THAI!" And then, groaning occurs after that. We then walk out to the front of the building, stand there, and keep asking what we want to eat. Silence. We all look at each other and then walk to the corner of 7th and Locust. We then ask again, "what do you want to eat?!" If you're ever out and about at 11:30 am in that area, we're the group of cavemen looking lost and confused at the corner, twiddling our thumbs. I'm the big chinese guy on the corner, yelling about Thai food.

So, in light of that, I'm going to chronicle for a month, everywhere I eat for lunch with my co-cavemen and provide a rating for that place. For measurement, I will rate these restaurants on scales of Wang, five being the best, one being the worst. Today, for lunch I ate at the Caveman's Club on top of the Laclede Gas Building at 7th and Olive. You have to be a caveman to eat there, but I think it's pretty easy faking as one to get in. You just have to wear a gray suit that looks important. Cavemen like to dress important in order to make themselves feel important. Important clothes are only trumped by mahogany. Mahogany connotes power, hence all the mahogany in our caves.

Anyways, I was eating here with a caveman, Vaura Logel, and Wolly, who sips the hatorade on St. Louis. The Caveman's Club is run by Window's on Washington. It has a full menu and a full buffet. Being a hungry caveman, I opted for the buffet. Today, there were serving a tomato basil soup, prime rib steak, asparagus, pasta primavera and curry rice. The tomato soup was excellent. It was a little creamy, but very flavorful with the chopped basil. There was a hint of garlic to it and brought good balance to it all. Next, the prime rib was average at best. Eh, what do you expect. It's a steak buffet. Medium well, slightly dried on the edges, very fatty, nicely salted. Mostly harmless and filling. The curry rice was the biggest disappointment. There were diced, non-descript vegetables in the rice. It is best described as "mostly bland" and yet intensely yellow. How did they make it so yellow, with so little taste? A disturbing thought, that I chose not to dwell on. I had some tuna salad and potato salad as well. Those were pretty standard, so I will not elaborate. If you want to know what they taste like, go to Sam's Club and buy some. The view is pretty amazing at this place because it is on the top floor of this building, so this alone may make it worth eating here. Well, here are the score breakdowns...

Tomato Soup - 4 Wangs
Prime Rib - 2 Wangs
Pasta Primavera - 3 Wangs (Wolly and Vaura agreed upon this, because they stay away from big pieces of meat)
"Curry" Rice - 1 1/2 Wangs (yes, you can have half Wangs, and if you get a half-wang, I pity the foo!)
Salads - 2 Wangs
Value - 4 Wangs (it was only $10.50 for this buffet and that includes all you can eat dessert!)

Lawyer's Club on 30th floor of the Laclede Gas Building Overall Score:

3 Wangs